


A Lunch Break in Hell

by tsukinofaerii



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Fluff, Food, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28075731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukinofaerii/pseuds/tsukinofaerii
Summary: Zagreus has questions. Than doesn't exactly have answers, but he tries.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 184





	A Lunch Break in Hell

Zagreus perched on the bar next to the aquarium, bouncing his heels off each other to make them spark. It was a good place to spend his spare time between runs, maybe the only good place in the whole House. The fireplace he'd ordered installed not long ago kept the lounge comfortably warm without reaching the broiling heat of Asphodel and the air was filled with the barely-there whispers of gossiping shades. Best of all, he had a perfect view of the most interesting thing there was to see: the head chef, hard at work in the kitchen.

_Chopchopchopchopchop—slice! Scrape._ Repeat, _ad infinitum_. Literally.

As usual, the wispy shape of the chef was chopping red onions. Endless, endless red onions. Nothing ever came of it. No one cooked. Not the onions, or anything else for that matter. It was the mystery of it that drew Zagreus in. Where did it all come from, and where did it go? The basket didn't have a bottom. Zagreus had stuck his arm down it once to check and had gotten onions in his ear when the chef hadn't stopped chopping. 

If the shade hadn't seemed so content to just float there chopping for all eternity, Zagreus might have thought it was a victim of one of his father's attempts at creative punishment.

Thanatos's arrival was announced by the soft shiver of a breeze across the back of Zagreus's neck. It might have been more than that. No gongs were allowed in the house, so his usual arrival announcement couldn't happen, but somehow Zagreus always _knew_ even without the announcement.

Without bothering to look, he leaned back, and wasn't at all surprised to find a broad chest right there to catch him. He squirmed enough to make himself comfortable, eyes still locked on the chef.

A ghost of a laugh brushed against his skin as Than's arms wrapped around his ribs. "There are chairs. You ought to know. You bought them."

"But this is the best seat in the House." He curled his arms behind him to hook at the small of Than's back. "Besides, I can't see the action from any of the chairs."

"Action?" There was definitely a raised eyebrow somewhere behind him. He was _certain_ of it. Maybe also a smile, if he was lucky. Those were harder to come by, and more precious than diamonds. "What are you talking about?"

"Food!" He waved a hand at the chef, who was dismissing yet another onion into the eternal bin. "What does it taste like? It doesn't get served here. Probably." Though, once he considered it, Zagreus wondered if maybe the eternal onions from the chef somehow made their way into the wraps he found during his escape attempts.

Somehow, thinking of the head chef sneaking around the Underworld to deliver a selection of wraps to Charon seemed even weirder than the wandering pomegranates. Zagreus still hadn't figured out how they kept getting from the garden to a thousand spots scattered across the realm. He'd tried tagging them once, but then his next escape had ended without seeing _any_. When he'd gotten arrived home after an unfortunate encounter with some sort of water fowl he'd been greeted by the marked poms piled on his bed and a note containing only a frowny face.

Than laughed softly, oblivious to how far afield Zag's thoughts had wandered. "I know you've eaten an onion. I've seen your records from Erebus."

_Low blow._ If Zagreus turned his head back far enough, he could give his lover a glare. He'd have to move though. Maybe even pull away. Not worth it. "Eurydice says mortals do things to onions that make them not-terrible."

A considering hum ran along his back. "That seems unlikely."

"I know, right? But that's what she said." Zagreus trusted Eurydice's opinion on most things, but especially in regards to food. The things she did with what she had to work with... Not only delicious, but it had helped saved his skin more than once. Well, at least until the inevitable end that always seemed to find him eventually. That didn't count.

Another hum went through Thanatos's chest. He tapped his fingers along Zagreus's hip bones, moving them along with the strumming of Orpheus's lyre. "We should get back to work. Both of us."

"Death waits for no god?"

"Just one." 

Zagreus laughed and snuggled back again, pointedly. He locked his fingers tighter, so there'd be no vanishing act for once. "A few more minutes?"

That was irrefutably a smile. He could feel it hidden in his hair, where no one would know it was there but him. His heart skipped in a way that would have been much more alarming on the surface. Fortunately, the safest place in the world—under or over—was right where he was. 

"A few more minutes."

* * *

Zagreus pushed his sweaty hair back from his forehead, staggered onto the next bone raft and shoved off, leaving blood- and ichor-smeared rock behind him. Asphodel was as hot and horrible as ever, with the glow from the Phlegethon creating a constant, low-level headache. The only way to escape either the heat or the light was, as always, past Lernie.

That was, if he ever made it to Lernie. The last chamber had been barely a cluster of rocks large enough to stand on but not much else, and the Pact made sure that his father's wretches were much swifter than usual. More than once he'd been faced with a choice of running out onto magma or holding his ground against the bloodless. Every time, Zagreus had chosen the option that didn't involve actually being on fire, but that didn't make his bruises any happier.

One day—or night—he really needed to talk to the House Contractor about how much it would cost to get the Phlegethon rerouted. It kept showing up on his parents' list of things to take care of, but never seemed to become anything actionable. He'd personally dig every diamond necessary out of the ground by hand if it kept him from ever having blisters on his ass again. 

His eyes were practically closed by the time the raft bumped to a gentle stop at its next port of call. Instead of the usual hiss of enemies about to send him back home, the air filled with the gentle bubble of water. A faint difference in temperature announced a place of rest and, maybe, some urns to shatter. Zagreus breathed a sigh of relief and all but fell forward onto solid, non-lethal land.

"Oh, thank the gods, a fountain chamb... huh?"

The usual healing pool was there, cool and refreshing and promising at least a slightly better chance at reaching Elysium. So were the as-of-yet unsmashed collection of urns and the mosaic floor that he'd come to think of as a remnant of what Asphodel used to be, pre-flood. In the middle of the room sat a table. A _familiar_ table, covered with little collections of... Well. Something. Zagreus had never seen any of it before. They were bronze platters filled with little brown crispy things, bright slices of something that was almost the same color as pomegranates but too soft-looking, bowls of green stuff that he thought he'd seen under the snow once...

And the smell. It was _amazing_ , even with the sulfur-stench of Asphodel trying to overpower it.

Red light faded to a dull blue as a deep death knell rang through the room. A breeze ran across the sweat-soaked back of his neck.

_Death has been waiting._

Zagreus turned with a smile. "Than? You did this?"

Black cloth fluttered as Thanatos floated just above the edge of the magma, arms crossed awkwardly and eyes fixed directly over Zagreus's shoulder. "You wanted to know what it's like."

" _How_ did you do it, though?" Zagreus circled the table. It was definitely the one he'd commissioned for Than's spot on the balcony overlooking the Styx. The rest of it... "Where did it come from? You didn't get this..." He poked some sort of soft brown thing that looked like the outside of a wrap had been blown up. It felt as light as it looked, and squished when he squeezed it. It was hard to imagine how it might have been made. "None of this came from down here. Did it?"

"I called in some favors." Than shrugged. His ears had gone pink, which Zagreus knew better than to think was the heat. They'd fought side-by-side in Asphodel a thousand times, enough for Zagreus to know the difference. Death, cool and indifferent death, was _blushing_.

_Some favors_... _I'll bet_. Thanatos didn't call in favors. He'd have to do them first in order to be owed any. The idea of Than flitting around the mortal realm that he hated so much, with its bright lights and too-much activity, trying to figure out what he needed just to do something nice for Zagreus...

The magma wasn't the only thing that was going to make Zagreus melt. He grabbed Than's wrist and pulled him down until he could get his arms around his shoulders for a kiss. "Thank you."

Instead of making excuses and vanishing, like he'd usually do when Zagreus asked for too much too fast, Than let himself be dragged down to the ground. He leaned in, hiding his face against Zagreus's neck. "Not in front of Mort, Zag."

"Mort can close his eyes." But Zagreus pulled the little plush mouse out of his belt and reached behind him to set Mort on the table, facing the fountain. Then he dragged Than back into another kiss. "You don't have any mortals to collect right now, do you? It'd be a shame to try it all on my own." 

He felt the brush of movement as Than smiled against his skin. Fingers hooked in Zag's belt. "I think I can spare some time."


End file.
